Worst Porno Ever

This is the bullshit. Maybe it's me. Maybe years of hardcore atrocities that would make Dr. Mengele blush being spewed all up in the interwebs and labeled as porn have dulled my better judgment a bit, but this has to be the weakest porno I've ever seen. It's bad enough when the Japanese blur all the crotch shots beyond recognition, and I refuse to even waste my valuable time on that Skinemax shit with B-list starlettes dry humping all over the place, but now they're just marching this fully-clothed chub-monster on stage so she can get finger-blasted by an invisible deity while Jesse The Body Ventura narrates. Bam Bam Bam Bam. Finish Him (read in Mortal Kombat voice-over.)
P.S. Nice acting on her part kinda, although, I doubt the man upstairs really cares if you finish or not.