What the fuck is with birds? Every night lately around my apartment building the little fuckers have started their chirping by 3:00 am. Is that normal? Granted the light pollution around here is so horrible I can read the fine print of my health insurance plan with the lights out at midnight, but have they no sense at all of an appropriate time to wake up? They have no jobs to get to. Transit workers don't even roll out of bed in this town until 6.
Even if they somehow need to wake up at this hour, why announce it to the world? Birds are that douchebag roommate some kids got stuck with freshman year who does ROTC and pops out of bed at the ass crack of dawn to do push ups which he counts off loudly. Just shut the fuck up. When I wake up 30 minutes before the start of my first class everyday I don't say shit to anybody. I pound gatorade, shower, brush my teeth, and head out on my way to being 5-10 minutes late to class. A roommate is lucky to get a 'whats up' and head nod if we cross paths, and thats how it should be, because everyone hates everyone in the morning.
But birds have to be the "morning person". That one person everyone hates the most, who's able to look decent and act cheerful before they have any right to. Birds are the morningiest person in the world. I can hear them as I write this, and I swear thats not some complex form of communication. There's no society. They're all doing their own little bird thing at the top of their lungs. It's all bird for "What the fuck's up world! I'm awake as shit! I'm fuckin amped as busta rhymes in those old mountain dew commercials! Time to suck today's dick!"
Fuck you birds, I don't even know what you do here.
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