Another Cat Tries Desperately To Be Cool/Number One Smoosh Trick

Nice try, asshole. Number one smoosh tried this same stunt while doing her chores: made me a sandwich, sat on it, got accidentally pleasured while I ate. Fool me once...but you taking a nap on the vacuum while it cleans is a fucking no-brainer, cat. Fuck you, you still aren't cool. Doesn't count if you love it, and you enjoy man-feastery the likes of which may never grace this plane existence again or you vacuum while having the time of your life: you just better serve me and hate it, no questions asked. So clean, and don't even pretend to like it, no joy rides on my watch. It is not enough for me to succeed, others must fail.