Luckiest MILF ever fake drives.

Ya....so...anyway...girl things and stuff...

P.S. This reminds me: worst Steak and BJ Day ever. The Number One Smoosh recently dumped my ass because the Olympian lightning bolts radiating from the tip of my dick were giving her headaches or whatever, so instead of enjoying the festivities as God intended, I ended up eating two McDoubles and workin' the bald man over to a Friends re-run. You know the fantasy--the Rachael and Monica threesome, either in their apartment or right at Central Perk, and if you have time, maybe Pheobe shows up for shits and giggs.

P.P.S. There's never enough time to get to Pheobe. I know it. Pheobe knows it. The Number One Smoosh knows it.

P.P.P.S. I'm probably going to regret this post when I call up the ex in a week begging her to take me back. The hard truth.