How Not To Cast A Mascot

Did everyone's elementary school have a mascot? I know most of you had one in high school, but the first idiot I had to look over to see the game showed up in college. Did anyone even have teams in elementary school? K-12 maybe? Anyway, the point is, this is just a classic case of poor casting. The mascot should always be a student...a small student, easily lifted and surfed over the crowd, easily toppled in any accidental play without any risk of injury to the athletes, maybe even easily topping a cheerleader pyramid. That's what mascots do. Elementary school mascot: throw a seven year old in that lion costume, and call it a day. Shit would be hilarious. Plus, the marketing writes its self. Ever heard of a little indie film called Lion King? Boom. Simba. Kids love that tiny lion. You're welcome. If only you had come to me sooner, little Billy's arm might still be in one piece.