Get Me This Goldfish

Pokemon are real. That being said, catching a Magikarp is JV shit. I'd say it took about a whole 3 seconds of casting before that little [ ! ] popped up above my head and what-a-ya-know, "A WILD MAGIKARP APPEARS!" The hardest part about catching this mofo is trying not to faint it before using your Pokeball. But whatever, this lady's prowess as a Poketrainer isn't really the issue here. Since when can you just catch goldfish in the U.S.? Is this real? The last time I caught a goldfish I was tossing a ping-pong ball into a fish bowl at the county fair (won a new fish every fucking year, like a boss, 'cuz all I do is make cups.) Anyway, is this where they go when we flush them, just playing possum like you read about so they can escape into the wild and grow into uber-fish? Shit is real.

UPDATE:


Scratch that...get me this tiger/wolf pack combo because I'm breeding this shit into an Arcanine that's going to fucking own that Magikarp. I know your all "But UG that's a water-type versus a fire-type, and when that Magikarp evolves into a Gyrados, you're gonna be sorry." Well, don't be such a little bitch, Arcanine is kinda my boy, and relax bro, it's pokemon.

P.S. Anyone notice that this second video is presented by Responsible Exotic Animal Ownership? There is nothing "responsible" about hosting a fucking tiger vs. wolf pack party on your front lawn., let alone owning a Hummer, but what it is is so awesomely irresponsible and unnecessary I can taste it, and I want it, I want it bad. Just own it, you tiger-training king of kings. Be yourself...a dangerously irresponsible hero, and possibly the greatest Pokemaster the world has ever known.

P.P.S. Mike Vick is 100% drooling over this action, so who ya got? I'm talkin' Wolf pack vs. Tiger, not Arcanine vs. Magikarp, get real.