So, took the number one smoosh out for a nice dinner last night cause I severely pissed her off Thursday night because...I don't actually remember why since I was blackout. Anyway, just stumbled back to my place to find:
1 open pocket knife on the floor
4 empty Colt .45's
Countless Busch Light cans
3 empty handles of Ron Roberto Spiced Rum scattered around
1 plate of cookies
2 pairs of pants
4 ping pong balls
Anchor Man playing on the TV, but on mute
1 rotisserie chicken, torn apart, possibly sexually
1 couch, upside down
1 water-cooler filled with jungle juice
1 set of keys for a Volkswagon, no one here drives one
1 purse
1 empty suite case
Kix, kid tested, mother approved
A text from my roommate saying he was arrested for breaking and entering
1 used condom
...WTF? That's why you never waste a Saturday to take a girl out for a nice dinner--missed fucking everything. No one is even here to explain what happened. Fucking Valentine's Day.
P.S. Guess I'm having jungle juice and stale cookies for lunch. Win.
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