Kid Is Done Learning

At this point, if there is a video of some little kid swearing, it's going to go viral, and I'm 1000% going to post it. Usually, a kid will accidentally say "fuck it," or that one girl will repeatedly threaten to kick that monster's ass, etc. But this kid changed the game up, and not only do I like it, but I respect the hell out of his dad for fostering it behind mommy's back while she's at Wholefoods or something buying the kid organic fruit snacks and in no way preparing him for life. I can literally hang out with my friends for an entire night and respond to all their jokes with "Fuck you...hahaha...pussy." Life of the party. Then say a fight breaks out, my buddies know I'll have their backs because I'll stand right up and tell whatever hardo starting problems that he's a pussy and can go fuck himself. That's being a good friend 101. Simple. What do you want: pussy. What do you say to someone standing between you and your pussy: fuck you. Good on ya, kid. What's more, I've lived this logic. A few summers back ,I was working on the Cape and would shoot the shit after work with a Bulgarian guy named Achka. We'd end up at these huge Bulgarian house parties or at some club that had been taken over by foreigners and the only things he ever taught me to say in Bulgarian were "cheers" and "good pussy." One of the best summers of my life.

P.S. I'm not going to attempt to type in Bulgarian, but I give you my word I can pronounce those two phrases and nothing else in perfect Bulgarian and hung out with people who spoke no English. If you don't believe me, vacuum.