I fucking hate Joakim Noah. I hate the way he plays, the way he calls out the Celtics every time he loses like the NBA's bitchy answer to LT, his made-up, pseudo-Mexican highway bandit sounding name, the fact that his hair hasn't changed length since he was 18 so he obviously goes to a barber like twice a week so that he can look like he doesn't mind looking like homeless Jesus. And I hate that this is his anonymous side-piece while I'm sitting here sipping warm beer and creeping on OkCupid trying to play hide the bacon with whatever 6 is reckless enough to meet me in person.
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